E-LOG (kinda like a blog...but not)
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10.12.11
When consolation is gone.
When interior consolation goes away and we are left wondering why we have been forsaken…what do we do? When those often misleading, tricksy*1 emotions leave and you are left with nothing interiorly to push you towards God, what is to be done? Suddenly it appears that the same Father who came and adopted us while we were orphans, making us his very own children, has deserted us. Suddenly we have come to a place where our road is confused and hidden while our guide has left us behind, or forgot us, or maybe given up on us. So, what's to be done? I would say that the first thing needed is to remember this: you are experiencing nothing that our Lord did not also experience. In fact he experienced the feeling of abandonment much more intensely than any of us ever could. On the cross right? Alright, so you're in good company. That should cause you to breath a bit easier. The Second thing needed is to remember.
Yes, remember. Remind yourself of all the Lord had done for you in the past. Call to mind that which you know to be true. Paul says in Philippians 4, "Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things". When the voice of the accuser is loud and clear, and the voice of our father seems distant, indiscernible and confusing, then you must ignore the familiar voice and be content to follow (as best you can), and to wait, and to remember what the Lord has done. Don’t be taken aback by the confusion of not knowing what the Lord is doing now. Sometimes you must simply allow yourself to go through the suffering of it all. In fact, we are commanded to rejoice even in these times. whooooo…easier said than done. But in those times say to yourself, “self, you are in the desert…did you not expect to get sunburned, and did you not expect to feel parched and thirsty, and did you not expect a mirage of confusion as your body reels against the exhaustion that comes from trying to discern what the Lord is doing but never quite understanding?” We know that His ways are not our ways (understament of the centur....eterninty). . I will make you a promise though; He will not abandon you!
Yeah, yeah yeah, you’ve heard that before…well, I don’t care, I say it again; HE WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU. You can’t just hear that. It’s not enough to have someone remind you of it, but you have to remind yourself of that. Everyday if you have to, so that you finally start believing the truth instead of the old familiar lies.
So, if it feels like you are holding onto the hem of the Lord’s garment, and he himself is dragging your almost lifeless body across the scorching desert sands (well that was dramatic), be courageous and ignore the voice trying to tell you that you have been abandoned. Look up! Is your hand not still clenching His robe? Trust then, that the man wearing the robe knows the way. He will not leave you to die there. And you know what else? If you feel you can’t continue and your soul is too parched, ask him for some water, he will give you some. He’s good like that.
I leave you with one of my favorite verses:
Psalm 22: 1-5
1 My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.
2 O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer;
And by night, but I have no rest.
3 Yet You are holy,
O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel.
4 In You our fathers trusted;
They trusted and You delivered them.
5 To You they cried out and were delivered;
In You they trusted and were - not - disappointed.
footnotes:
1 - tricksy - meaning tricky, in the speach of Smeagol (known also as Gollum)
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05.04.2011
Come friend, shall we celebrate death together?
I assume everybody has read, watched, or at least heard the recent news concerning Osama Bin Laden. Plastered all over the front pages of news papers, magazines websites etc...is the astounding story that "we finally got him". Among the pictures of the compound where he was hiding, and of the man himself, we see many pictures from around the world of people rejoicing; crowds celebrating in the streets because of the victory of this great day. I can say without shame that I will join in no such revelry.
Have we become so barbaric that we, like Osama and his followers, rejoice to see the death of another human being? Do we not see the absolute hypocrisy in our reaction? In fact some of the pictures of the celebration are carbon copies of pictures I have seen showing People in the Middle East rejoicing over the death of American soldiers. "Oh but we are the ones who are in the right" you say, "They are the ones with the screwed up ideology". Perhaps true, but that justifies us also rejoicing in death? The loss of human life is always to be pitied and never to be desired. The most wicked sinner ought to be mourned in his/her death if that person took their wickedness to the grave with them.
We may of course rejoice that many evil plans may now never come to fruition. I am in no way trying to detract from the bravery of the men who carried out this dangerous mission. Likewise, I am not saying that they should have gone into the compound and thrown flowers at the man. What was done was clearly an act of necessary extremes. It was, unfortunately, the appropriate action to take, but what is absolutely not appropriate is that we revel in death.
I know little to nothing of the lives of Bin Laden's family but is it not possible that his parents have been desperately hoping, maybe praying for years that their dear son would see the error in his thinking and turn from such evil ways. Maybe his poor mother has been terrified of this day for a long time, and now that it has come (as necessary as it may have been) can you not recognize that she weeps the tears of a mother who lost her baby? Would you dance and cheer next to her as she crumbles to the ground in grief? Even the most hardened person is usually undone by the broken heart of another.
Let me suggest something to anyone who feels nothing but hatred toward people like Osama Bin Laden. You rejoice over his death because all you can do is look upon his hatred and reciprocate that same disease, instead of looking upon it and feeling sorrow that such hatred exists. If you have no ability to pity a person who is filled with such malice toward his fellow man, and all you can do is respond to that person in hate...you and he are brothers. Furthermore, you have no ground on which to be upset if such a person rejoiced over the death of your loved ones. How could you when your reaction would be the same?
What is it that we are trying to prove by celebrating that he's been killed? It's as if we are trying to show al Qaeda that "hey, look, we can hate just as deeply as you"; or, "we can celebrate the death of an enemy like you do". Bin Laden was clearly very sick in his thinking, that much is evident. But in every other circumstance do we not seek or at least hope for a cure, for a fix to that which is broken. I dare say that most of us did not hope for change in Osama, we just hoped that the $0B would be killed. So when it finally happened, the world erupts with cheers of approval. Maybe if we celebrate death just a little more fervently we will finally bring an end to fighting and war and hatred, and at last reach that elusive peace that the world craves.
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12.01.2010 - He came to change everything.
Hey, happy advent everyone!!
Have you ever been reading a news article, or some blog, or some...I don't know... in essence, some form of self-satisfied ranting from another person's mind concerning the current state of our world and what we need to do or not do about it? You ever notice how there seems to be a hidden undertow that can grab you and suck you into a strong current of related links to other articles and other blogs by yet more opinionated writers who seem hell bent on turning your once peaceful mind into a worthless heap of disparity? You have? Well tell me this. Have you ever been reading your way down through those rapids feeling like you'll never find the way out and then come across a quote from one of the gospels, or some reference to the person of Jesus? Have you ever noticed how all of a sudden, completely caught of your guard, you find yourself letting out a breath that apparently you have been holding too long? Ever notice how you then lean back, peeling your forearms off of the desk you have been resting on, and quickly feel blood flow re-enter your brain? You ever notice how you have suddenly stopped giving any kind of crap about the opinions of the ranter who you had previously been letting drag you down into a cloud of bewilderment about life in the current state of this world? You ever notice how suddenly nothing else matters but the fact that Jesus came, that he is emanuel, God with us, and that his coming changed everything?...Yeah, that's a good feeling...no, that is a GREAT feeling!
That's never happened to you!? Oh...hmm, I thought that was one of those universal human experiences. Well trust me it's a good feeling.
"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin shall be with child and will give birth to a son, and she will call his name Immanuel (God with us)...For unto us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." Isaiah 7:14 / 9:6
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11.05.2010 - Patience with our unbelief
Recently I was looking at a painting of St. Thomas the apostle depicting the moment when Jesus said to him, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe. I was struck at what an incredible display of Jesus' mercy this was toward Thomas. I am fairly certain that when John included this story in his gospel he was not doing so in order to coin some catchy cliche for people who don't trust easily. Most essentially he probably included it in order to encourage those who would never see Jesus with their own eyes, when he said, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed". However, there is also a great picture of the mercy of God contained within this passage.
When Jesus appears to His disciples the second time, He does not come in and chastise Thomas for doubting. He does not even seem to expect Thomas' doubt to suddenly vanish and be replaced by belief due to the fact that he is now looking face to face at the risen Lord. I think we can all agree that Jesus would have been completely justified had He said something along the lines of, "THOMAS, you know that I was dead and now I am standing right in front of you...and you STILL doubt!!?" I mean, that seems reasonable considering the circumstances right? But no, instead the Lord beckons Thomas to come close and allows him to place his finger in the very wounds that probably served to break Thomas' belief in the first place. Instead of rebuking Thomas, Jesus calls him into a rather intimate exchange, letting Thomas actually put his fingers into His wounds so that Thomas' doubt will be broken. I love that the Lord is so patient with us and will do for us what we need in order to believe.
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09.29.2010 - A quote from Thomas A Kempis
This is a quote from " Of the Imitation of Christ" that I wrote down on a small piece of paper and carry around in my wallet; I guess I'm hoping that by having it in my pocket it will somehow seep into my blood stream.
"Seek a convenient time to retire into thyself, and meditate often upon God's loving-kindness. Meddle not with curiosities but read such things as may rather yield compunction to thy heart than occupation to thy head."
The world we live in today has become more saturated with things that will give "occupation to thy head" then can possibly be spoken of. It takes hardly any effort to spend an entire day on things that bring no food to the table of our spiritual life and serve only to distract us from a whole hearted pursuit of God. Many times I have heard this idea thrown around by those in the church, I guess in an attempt to make ourselves feel vindicated for time not spent pursuing God, which says as long as something is not inherently bad we are safe giving our time to it. Now of course there is a level of truth in this statement, but too often have I seen it used (as well as used myself) as a way of excuse for spending our time in less than fruitful ways.
See, we may not be in danger of losing our souls in pursuing these things (and you know what they are for you) but the deeper truth here is that there is only so much of Himself that the Father will let us see/know without a radical shift in the things we give our time and affection to. The Father longs to reveal ever more of his glory, the glory He revealed in His son Jesus, but there is a direct correlation between us detaching ourselves from things of this world, and the Father revealing that glory. And to clarify it's not the stuff but the attachment to the stuff that is the bad guy here...because once God owns our affection suddenly everything, it seems, can become a source of God's glory.
We were created to be filled right? It is our very nature. We don't seem to like empty space, and when we see it, you know as well as I do that we will find a way to fill it. Have you ever moved into a new house that has more space in it than stuff you own? It doesn't take long for that empty wall to receive a new piece of art, or that extra room to be turned into a guest room, or an office, or a music room, or library...I mean its gotta be something right? It can't just be an empty room, that would defeat the whole purpose of the room. In fact the very laws of the universe that we live in seem to testify to this reality. Vacuums demand to be filled..."Nature abhors a vacuum", or something like that.
See, the truth is (at least I think so) that all of us are at all times filled to the brim. While here in this world we are given the choice as to what it is we want to be filled with. I find it a great irony that when people speak of a feeling of emptiness, likely what is going on is that they are filled completely, just with the wrong things. It's like this beautiful reality that we can not escape, and the harder we try the more intensely we feel it...God will simply not allow real fulfillment outside of Himself. He created us as His own and He is a very jealous God. That is why Bono will forever go on singing, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" and Mick Jagger, "I can't get no satisfaction", even in the midst of having everything the world can offer. This is of course because, "We are restless until we rest in him" (St. Augustine). Like gravity, God built this reality into the very fabric of who we are and we have no way to escape it.
The world we live in is full of creative ways to fill up our time, our thoughts, and our affections. Many of these things are good and can bring us closer to God but even the good can become simply a distraction and means of filling up the real-estate that God created for Himself. Unless the one who created you and knew you before you were in your mother's womb holds the primacy in your heart, everything that brings you satisfaction will only do so for a time.
Having said all of this, I want to make one more brief point here because we would be lacking unless we understood this key principle of the Father's heart. Namely, that He is full of mercy and love and is never disappointed in our efforts to find or to know Him. Our most miserable failed attempts to seek the Lord are unimaginably precious to Him.
So here's to retiring into ourselves and meditating on God's loving-kindness, and here's to failing at it too (not that the failing ought to be desired...it just ought not deter us from trying again). I hope this has served to yield compunction to thy heart rather than occupation to thy head.
